September 1, 1983, was an exciting day for me and for my whole family! I wore a beautiful brown and white dress uniform. White was always for special occasions! I remember waiting all summer for that important day, because all of those special clothes were set aside for the 1^st of September!

Now, that important day had come! I was going to school! Mom put my pencils and pens in a special pyenal (pen-case) and I watched, fascinated! She collected my brand new notebooks, and put it all in a nice book-bag. I was looking forward to school, even just for the reason of using all those new and exciting notebooks and pens!

That first day of school was a celebration for every Soviet child of seven or eight years old! School would teach us to be what we should be - good citizens of the U.S.S.R.!

From the first pages of our textbooks, we were taught about the greatest hero in the whole world: V.I. Lenin! Of course, this was nothing new for me, for even in kindergarten, we been told glorious stories of Lenin right alongside the other children's stories that we were taught.

Now that I was in school, we learned some new stories about Lenin, like the time he and his family were visiting some friends, and young Lenin (just a boy at the time) was playing with some friends. During their games, he accidentally knocked down a beautiful vase, which shattered into many pieces. When he saw that, he ran away to play in a different room. When the lady of the house found the broken vase, she asked the children which one had broken it. Everyone denied it, including young Lenin. He didn't tell the truth, but his conscience bothered him. Several days afterward, he confessed his deed to his parents, and asked the forgiveness of the lady of the house.

By that story, we were taught to be honest and truthful like our example, Lenin.

Another story was about Lenin when he was a young man. He observed several hard-working laborers trying to lift a very heavy log. In spite of the fact that he was already a famous leader by that time, and was wearing a suit, he came to the assistance of those workers, and helped them carry that heavy log.

By these, and others stories like them, we were instructed to follow the example of our great leader by being kind, sharing, and sacrificial. In other words, Lenin was set up as our hero, and we were to pattern our lives after his character..

What were we taught in school? To live like Lenin! To be honest, unselfish, diligent, attentive, hardworking - like Lenin! To be good citizens of the Soviet Union! For the Soviet Union was not just a nation that we lived in - It was The Nation! The best and most wonderful nation in the world!

We had the privilege of living in a country like this! We were instructed to be grateful to Lenin for building such a strong and great nation for us, giving us a free education and providing all of our needs! All that was required of us was to be good, Soviet people!

The time came when we began to write our first letters and words. One of those words was "Lenin." Our teacher solemnly instructed us that we should do our very best in writing that word, "Lenin." We should spell it out with reverence and appreciation for all that he had done for us. In fact, we were accused of being ungrateful, unloving, bad children when we made a mistake in writing out that name.

Personally, I had trouble with penmanship, but I remember being very delighted in writing the word "Lenin!" I did it extremely slowly, carefully forming each letter of that name. As I look back, I find it interesting to note that we were never told to show any special care in writing out the word "Mama," (but I do remember that I used special care in writing out that word, too!

Later, when we were being taught English, we learned by carefully interpreting the biography of V.I. Lenin into English.

Every classroom in our school, as I remember, had somewhere a drawing or a picture of Lenin. Many classrooms even had various quotations from Lenin adorning the walls. We were allowed to copy those quotations in our notebooks, but we never dared draw a picture of Lenin. That, we were told, was an honor reserved only for certain professional artists. For us to do so would be a disgrace.

Pictures of Lenin were not only at school, but also in factories, on apartment buildings, and even on postcards. Lenin was everywhere.

In second grade, I became an Octabryata (from the word October, referring to the communist revolution of 1917). I was so proud to be given a little badge to wear with a childhood picture of Lenin engraved upon it. We were told that it represented that we were followers of Lenin and his great work! We were required to wear that badge close to our heart, on our uniform, at all times.

A few times, I remember forgetting to wear the badge and feeling terrible; not because of the big trouble that I got in, but because I was ashamed of myself for not being a more faithful member of the Otabryata.

Then, in fourth grade, we became Pioneeriy ("Pioneers")! That was the next big step! We were growing up, not only as children, but also toward being members of the Communist Party! This was our great privilege and honor!

Now, instead of badges, we proudly wore red scarves around our necks! We had a huge celebration because of this big step. People gave speeches, read poems praising communism, and we proudly showed off our new, red scarves!

Nearly every day, before school, I ironed my scarf and tied it neatly around my neck. Children who had wrinkled scarves were disciplined, for that was inappropriate and disrespectful behavior. One of the worst possible ways to be punished for any misconduct was for the scarf and Pioneer membership to be taken away. It was a shame and an embarrassment. One of the boys from my class was punished in this way, and it really worked! During the next few months, his grades and discipline improved drastically, and he soon earned back his privilege to be a Pioneer!

Growing up, we rarely heard any mention of the word "God." It was more like a bad word. To even mention it meant, at best, to be looked down upon and laughed at.

I do remember, however, one time when our teacher announced that she had something she needed to say. We were to go straight home after school. We were not to go to the park, or to friends' houses, or window shopping.

At the time, we weren't aware that some of our parents had complained to the teacher that we weren't coming home right after school, and so we asked our teacher, "Why do we need to go right home?"

She thought for a moment, and then said, "Well, you see, because there are Christians out there who, if they capture you, will bring you as a sacrifice to their god." We were terrified.

So, I grew up with two major fears: One was the fear of these Christians. The other fear was the great enemy of the Soviet Union - capitalism (the true meaning of which I had absolutely no understanding of). In other words, I was afraid of Christians and Americans.

By the time I became a senior in high school, it was the time of perestroika (rebuilding) - a time of freedom to do just about whatever you wanted to do. Now, the streets were filled with people selling pornography openly, and other things like that. Drugs and alcohol became cool. Television was filled with American violence, sex, and horror.

Suddenly, we were told that Lenin wasn't as good as we were taught. But, we refused to believe it. We thought that those ideas were just wrong, jealous accusations, for it was nearly impossible to accept something so different from what we had been raised to believe.

What confused and saddened me the most was to see how some people just went with the flow. I remember, some years before, having asked one of our very respectable teachers if he had ever been to the Moscow Mausoleum to see the body of Lenin. He said, "No. I've never been there, because to me, Lenin is always alive!" Oh, how we admired such faithful followers of Communism! But, the most interesting thing was that when perestroika came, that particular man was one of the first who openly rejected the old system and began making big money by doing things the "new" way.

Now, all that we had been taught came crashing down. It was hard to understand who was right and who was wrong. Even articles in the newspapers plainly contradicted each other. I came to the point that I didn't believe any of them because they didn't have any reliable information. Like many people, I gave up trying to understand the political situation because it was impossible to distinguish truth from falsehood.

The whole plight of our country was depressing. With perestroika, it became obvious that the U.S.S.R. was not the most progressive and advanced nation in the world, as we had been taught. Actually, we had a lot of catching up to do. We were not the best, the greatest, the most beautiful, the most wonderful, and the most promising country. It had all been a lie.

At that time, I was about sixteen years old, and I began thinking about things that I had never thought about before: questions like, "Why am I living in this world? What is the purpose of my life?" These kinds of questions plagued my mind. I thought about it a lot.

I thought about what would happen when I would die someday, and the thought terrified me. I couldn't accept it. "Death," I thought, "is the end." I would close my eyes and think about that end of life, and I was afraid. I didn't want to believe that this was all: live, just to die! What a stupid, purposeless existence

It was obvious that communism wasn't the answer. It hadn't worked. By now, the Soviet Union had fallen apart. All of those big and little "gods" (like "Lenin," the "Party," "Socialism," etc.) were all just a joke.

Personally, I felt empty and ashamed, but it looked like it was not in my power to change myself. But, I tried! I felt that something was missing in my life. I constantly set up different goals for myself, thinking that once I reached them, I would finally be satisfied with myself. I had always struggled in school, especially language and grammar, and thinking that becoming a better student would bring satisfaction, I began to try harder. Other students had always laughed me at because of my poor grades, and teachers were constantly frustrated with me.

It so happened, though, that our new teacher of Russian grammar and literature during this time was a lady named Olga Petrovna. She remained our teacher for the last two years of high school.

She was an unusual teacher. She wasn't harsh or abrupt, but rather, more gracious and well-mannered. I noticed one thing about her right away - she loved her work! She loved Russian literature!

I liked her simply because she was kind. She didn't seem to be against me (like I felt from some of my other teachers). I decided that, in her classes, I would do my very best. I was extremely diligent with my homework and I always participated in class. I suppose that I saw this as my chance to become a better student.

Olga Petrovna saw my efforts and (whether or not she knew about my not-so-good grades from the past or not) she began to help me and encourage me. My efforts were always complimented and she seemed to treat me as a special person. Little by little, instead of hating literature and schoolwork, I began to love it!

Once, when we received the grades for our exams, I found out that I had some of the highest scores, thanks to the difference that the loving, caring attention of that teacher made in my life.

But, by accomplishing these academic goals and many others, I still felt unhappy and unsatisfied in the end. I tried to fill that emptiness with friends, hobbies, clothes, and many other things, but the happiness only lasted for a couple of hours. In the end, I found out that these things didn't really bring the peace and satisfaction that I longed for.

One summer, when I was visiting my grandparents in southern Russia, I found a gospel tract about God. With great interest, I read it, and one thing in that tract stood out to me: I needed to have God in my life, for only He could make me happy and fulfilled.

Oh, how excited I was to think that here was the answer to all of my questions and problems! I just needed God!

Well, the only thing that I knew with which to associate God was the Russian Orthodox Church. So, I went there. As I understood, the way to bring God's approval upon me was to be baptized, so that's what I did. I paid the priest some money, and I was baptized!

Afterward, however, I realized that I was the same, dirty, sinful person as I was before. Nothing had changed. God hadn't done a thing for me. I felt terrible, because my last hope in God had failed.

In fact, I was so discouraged and upset that I decided to write a letter to the Russian ministry that published those tracts. So I did, and angrily accused them of lying to and misleading people. I wrote about my own experience, hoping to prove to them that God doesn't exist! I remember thinking that maybe I could open their eyes to the "truth!"

All of this was happening in the late winter and early spring of 1993. However, in the middle of June, something happened that completely changed not only my strong opinions, but also my life!

I was walking somewhere one day, and I saw a piece of paper tacked to a wall in our town of Dneprorudniy, Ukraine. It was an invitation to a gospel program. That sounded interesting to me, but at that time, I had absolutely no idea what a "gospel program" was!

So, after I read that invitation, I forgot about it and continued on my way. Those invitations, however, were all over my town! Soon, I could just about recite the whole page from memory!

The day of the program came, I was free, and so I decided to go. I thought that it must be some kind of concert, and so I bought some flowers to present to whoever was performing!

Well, that evening was the first in my life that I heard the full message of the plan of salvation. That day, I realized that the emptiness in my life belonged to God. I saw myself for what the Bible said that I was - a sinner, separated from God by my sin. I was so glad to find out that there was a solution in Christ Jesus, who took my penalty upon Himself!

That day, as I sat there listening to everything, I knew that I had to make an important decision. I knew that I needed God in my life, and that I couldn't leave from that building without Him. I knew that I couldn't continue on with my life in the same way that I had been living.

I went forward that night, repented of my sins, and gave my life to God. He was so faithful to accept the broken pieces of my life and restore me! He filled the emptiness of my life and gave me joy and fulfillment in Him! I felt Him give me new meaning and purpose in life!

My life had been changed, but things were, by no means, easy for me after that. My family, though they loved me, couldn't understand or comprehend the decision that I had made. In addition, as a new Christian, there were still many things that I didn't understand, and I made many mistakes in those early months of my Christian walk!

However, God was faithful to show me his power and His love!

One day, I received a letter from a lady who belonged to the ministry that had produced the gospel tract to which I had responded so bitterly. How ashamed I felt now as I opened that letter!

She very sweetly shared with me that I needed to repent and be saved first, before I could be baptized! She then encouraged me to read my Bible and attend an evangelical church. She told me that she had been praying for me, and would continue to pray! Incredibly, by the time I received that letter, her prayers had not only been answered, but I was already doing every one of those things that she had encouraged me to do!

The Lord later gave me the opportunity to meet that woman and thank her personally for her prayers! What a joyful meeting it was!

I had attended several months of college at an English institute, but I then was invited to attend a Bible College that was opening in a large city some hours away from our home. I was amazed at how the Lord allowed my parents to give me permission to enroll, and the next two years were tremendous years of growth and encouragement.

I was still so new in the faith! For example, during the early days of my Christian walk, I started reading Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. I became somewhat frustrated, because I thought that I was losing my place and reading the same things over and over again! I didn't realize that the gospels all cover different perspectives of the life of Christ!

The Lord used those years in my life, though, and when I had finished two years of college, I was invited by Rev. Daniel Glick, the evangelist under whose ministry I had received Christ, to visit His family and church in America. Through that trip, I began finishing my Bible college education at Allegheny Wesleyan College.

During that time, I became acquainted with a young man named Scott. Through several ministry opportunities, we began to realize (without even telling each other that we realized it!) that God was leading our lives in the same direction. Our courtship is a whole, other exciting story (sometime, we'll write that together), but to make that long story short - we were happily joined together as husband and wife in May, 1998!

This is just one chapter of my life, but my testimony hopefully shows to you how much God has done for me, and encourages you to see that He is able to do wonderful things for you, as well! "Eye hath not seen, neither ear heard, nor hath it entered into the heart of man what God hath prepared for them that love Him!"